The Great Minnesotan Migration of 2014

In October of 2014 my parents went to New York City. Their journey, and subsequent photos, inspired me to create a new nature documentary, "The Great Minnesotan Migration of 2014." My parents are awesome, and have had some great trips together, this is one of the better ones they went on. My Mom is in only one of the photos because she is the one that wants to take a picture of everything; my Dad is typically the focus of the photos because he is the only other one with my Mom. This dynamic led to some great photos on their trip. Here is their journey.

Here, we see the native Minnesotan in unfamiliar surroundings. As you can see, he has found his native food (Kit Kat) in a strange land, and is unsure whether to proceed with his purchase or not. Let us follow him on his adventure in the big city...


We see our Minnesotan again, now in the center of Grand Central Station (which is actually a terminal, but that is a different matter). Look how he poses. Obviously his female has positioned him, and told him to smile. This is a common trait amongst the Minnesotan females, and easy to pick up with the photographic reactions of the males.


And it's the tell tale photograph of the Minnesotan female! Displays of food sources are a common past time for this "photographer" variety of female. This proud display no doubt displeased her mate who was obviously more interested in eating the meal than displaying it for all to see. Notice his absence from the image. He is waiting for his chance to pounce upon this "pizza" at the first available moment, which is when the female says "alright."


Ahhhh! Something our adventuring Minnesotan is familiar with, bread stuffed with cheeses and meats! He will be eating well tonight! Notice again how no female is present, but you know she's there based on the hand position of the male as he is pointing to his kill as if in triumph. No Minnesotan male would exude such excitement unless otherwise prompted. This is a tricky female indeed!


We find our Minnesotan, who is sporting his fall plumage, in front a perplexing sight: an artificial bog of cranberries. Notice how he is intensely watching, he knows this is a lie. He realizes that all these "idiots" did is fill a swimming pool with water and dumped a bunch of cranberries in to it. When in reality, the bogs needed for prime cranberry production are found in Minnesota and Wisconsin, where the acidity of the soil is perfect for cranberry growing. But, being a Minnesotan, he's too nice to make the "farmer" feel bad, so he is politely going along with the charade.

Our Minnesotan is fitting in nicely! Notice how he has claimed this entire territory as his own, and chased away all intruders from his new habitat. A very impressive sight, and quite the new home!

While in awe of the actual stone and steel structures that line NYC, our Minnesotan is more taken by the smaller Lego version of the location that he is standing in. Presumably, after this photo was taken, our Minnesotan turned to his female and said, "That's really neat!" A common phrase from Minnesota that communicates amazement.

The confusion on our Minnesotans' face is quite noticeable, as he has taken the time to remove his sunglasses to take a closer look at the speeding silver tube-capsule in front of him. This confusion led to the Minnesota female to take a picture of the event for no reason at all. Our Minnesota male was probably standing in this spot for near half and hour in a passive, yet defensive, posture to assure those around him, and the moving silver tube thing, that he is not a threat.

The Minnesotan in the heart of NYC! Look at how proud his female made him look! He is conquering all!

This is a very happy Minnesota male! This is the hub of his chocolate eating prowess. This is the equivalent of Marco Polo finding a route to China. We lost contact with our camera crew before we could determine if the Minnesotan made it into the Hersey's store, or if he was just happy to find it and point it out to us.

Oh no...Get him away from the street! The Minnesotan is now becoming a "tourist" and not blending in properly. Look how cars must avoid his personal space. Although one can understand his excitement. M&M's have been a favorite snack of the Minnesotan since he was a child, and he has shared that pastime with his non-present offspring. As with the Hersey's store, we do not yet know if he actually made it into the store, or if he just pointed it out and was forced to proceed to the next destination by the female.

I'm beginning to feel as if someone is simply photo shopping our Minnestoan into random locations to make it appear as if he did visit these places in NYC. That, or the Minnestoan female is giving him verbal commands that the male is more than happy to follow. Either way, his pointing in this photo is off, showing that the Minneosta female must be getting tired at this point and letting the male point on his own.

That is a proud Minnesotan male! This is nearly recreating his natural habitat, complete with dog, trees, grass, and rocks. Notice how relaxed and at ease he is in this photo. He knows that this is where he belongs. All he needs is blaze orange, deer urine, and a grunt call and he would feel complete.

At this point the Minnesota male is just pointing at anything shiny and bright. He acutaly thinks that the Apple store sign is the beginning of a lunar eclipse.

Well now! A second stop at a pizza restaurant. This should come as no surprise to those of you familiar with this type of Minnesotan male. He is known to thrive on pizza of all types, most notably, the frozen variety. But the fresh variety of pizza happens to be a favorite for this male. Also notice how he has his winter plumage on now, including his fancy head cover.


He did make it! Finding himself in new surroundings, and now adorned in his winter plumage, the Minnesota male is remembering better days, when he was sporting his more colorful fall plumage of maroon and gold. He is gathering a bountiful harvest of small chocolates in his fall colors to give to his female as a courtship offering. The courtship offering of the Minnesota male to his female is one of the most secretive rituals in the world. But legend tells of a dance so unique, that once any female sees it, they are instantly attracted to the male. Luckily this male is sporting extra layers, otherwise there may have been a panic by surrounding females. Also, the Minnesota female escorting this particular male is to smart to allow him to perform such a ritual in a public space. She is very protective.

Bright lights are not something the Minnesota male is acustomed too. Notice the surpirse look on the face. The raised eyebrows, the half smile. These are all indicators of a Minnesota male in a near flight response looking for more dimly lit accomodations. Again, I believe that the female is responsible for forcing this particular male to pose for what she would call a "photo op to send back to friends and family." The male accepted the request agaist his instincts.

This is where this particular Minnesota male thrives. We can now determine that this particluar male is of the Science/Nature variety that has indepth knowledge of natural history and biology. Notice the relaxed pose, and the way the he looks "natural." This appears to be the first picture the male requested from his female, as no photographic female would request her mate to pose infront of a reconstructed skeleton of a T-Rex. No, this is the Minnesota male at his peak!

The Minnesota male gathering information. This is not a rare occurence, as when the Minnesota male is reading, there are very few things that can distract him. Flash photography least among them. As most males from other regions of the country would simply look at the skeleton and think, "That's neat!" The Science/Nature variety of the Minnesota male looks for battle scars on the bones, wonders about the gender, the dimensions of the skull, stride length of the legs that would indicate a possible top speed, and what type of rifle he would need to fell a beast that size if it were alive today and what the cost of the hunting permit would be. These are all instantaneous thoughts in the Minnesota male while reading the three sentences on that small placard.


And the Minnesota female presents herself! It only took a bridge, sun, body of water, natural beauty, and her mate to draw her out from behind her camera. As of now this is the only known picture of her. Be on the lookout! Very little is known about her.