For Women Everywhere

Alright, well, it’s been over three months since I last said that I would be updating in a few weeks. So I think it’s time we do this.

As a new father to a beautiful little girl, I got to thinking about what she will experience as she grows up into an adult. Our society, even as great as it is, is still hostile towards women. There are expectations that almost no woman can fulfill, but we have determined that those expectations must be met for a woman to be a “woman”. There are also major sexist issues that women face on a daily basis that men don’t even have to think about. And I know it’s not just our society here in the U.S. But you would think that in a civilized society, we would be able to get our shit together and figure out that every person deserves…no is required…to be treated equally, despite what gender they are.
There are far too many issues to cover in a short time, so I’ll pick the five biggest in my eyes. Even if we solve the issues mentioned below, we would still be miles away from gender equality in our society. And that small fact scares the crap out of me as I prepare my little minion to be unleashed unto this world.


She is only worth 75% compared to her male counterparts

            This is the one that infuriates me because this should not even be an issue. Full-time working women make $0.75 for every $1.00 a full-time working man makes. An article written by Harvard Economics Professor Claudia Goldin for the Library of Economics and Liberty (econolib.org) goes into detail about the Wage Gap in the U.S. She writes that 33% of the Wage Gap can be explained through education level, job experience, hours worked, and other observable variables. This means that 66%, two-thirds, of the Wage Gap affecting women is explained through non-observable variables. That means that the majority of the Wage Gap is due to discrimination from the employer. Which, most of the time, will be a white male. Hmmmmm…I think we may have solved this brain buster.
            How is it, that in 2014, we are still dealing with paying someone what they are worth? If you have two people that are doing the same job, doesn’t it make sense that they get paid the same? But wait, one of them has a penis! Better pay that one more because, you know, it’s a pain to haul that thing around all day. Vaginas are scary! Babies come from there! And I don’t have one! This is the easiest one to solve, yet we need to have congressional hearings to figure out that this is an important issue. I don’t give us much hope to solve this by 2032 (When my minion will graduate high school). So my minion needs to learn that no matter what she does in life, she needs to be 25% better than the dicks around her.

Standard bearers of being a “woman”

            I shutter to think what pop culture will be like when my minion grows up. Our society has embraced women who are famous for nothing else but being pretty and stupid. Or actually just pretty stupid but are decent to look at. Just look at the this wonderful list of female celebrities: Kim Kardashian, any of the walking Botox and silicone plastic dolls from the Real Housewives of Who-Gives-a-Shits-Ville, Ariana Grande (who can't enunciate her words so we can understand what she is singing), Miley Cyrus, and the 99% of women on reality television. What message is being sent? If you are hot enough, and show enough cleavage, ass, mid section, lower back, or any combination of those; you can be super famous! Awesome! Now we have a bunch of young girls trying to become the next Kim Kardashian, where already having one is too many.
            Where is the emphasis on the female entrepreneur?  Scientist? Athlete? Artist (meaning an actual artist, not some no-talent pop star)? Journalist? Writer? Teacher? Astrophysicist? Our young girls need role models that can actually do something other than look like models and talk like they only passed 2nd grade because all they did was rely on their looks, which will hopefully fade faster than their careers and then we get to see them try and relive their former glory through plastic surgery which then makes them look like someone painted a face on a garbage bag and stuck it on a body.

Beauty before brains

            This ties in nicely to the previous issue. With all the exposure that celebrities get, it is not surprising that how they look and what they wear is emulated by young girls. Yet, that standard is not attainable by normal women. The reason? Normal women have actual lives, not some fantasy world in which people provide you with everything and you have time to go to the gym for 4 hours a day, or enough money to buy new boobs every 2 years. You know, to stay up to date on the latest styles and trends of chest accessories.
            Young girls are bombarded with images of what they need to be. This includes thigh gap (stupidest thing ever), professional make up application, designer everything, a cell phone that can second as your best friend, having a body that looks similar to the skeleton in your anatomy and physiology classroom from high school, or a body that is so hour glass shaped that you look like you got into a car accident and the air bags deployed from your chest and your butt-hole and never deflated, and clothes so whorish even a stripper wouldn’t wear them outside a club.
            This does not even take into account the massive amount of editing that takes place for the ads, further increasing the gap between what is physically attainable by young girls and the fantasy realm of what is expected of them. And rarely do you hear about the surgeon who makes six figures by saving people every day, or the biochemist who is working on renewable energy sources. Know why? They are not supermodel material! And they're smart! What! No one wants to know that women are capable of thinking! Give me boobs damn it! Because, apparently, that’s all we want women to believe they are in our society, just a walking pair of milk producing fat deposits.

1 out of 3 women will be the victims of a sexual assault

            Well, isn’t this just a steaming cup of awesome. This one is on men…COMPLETELY! Men have this wonderful complex whereas they believe women are walking around looking for sex from any man walking down the street. Great…no wonder 33% of women with be a victim at some point in their lives. You know how we solve this one? Educate men! Which is going to be way harder than you think because of how long this stereotyping of women as sexual objects has been going on. Look at any music video, action movie, television show, billboard, magazine ad, commercial, cheerleader at any professional sports event, and don’t even look at the availability of pornographic material.
            When a woman turns a man down, the man doesn’t know why because all the shit he has seen has taught him that no matter what he does or how he looks, the woman will always say “yes.” 
            “I’m wearing the Hollister shirt that gives me eight-pack abs and those ‘cuts’ on my hips, and I’m drinking that beer in which that guy in the commercial has the supermodel climbing all over him, and I’m wearing my AXE body spray that smells like rubbing alcohol but women think smells like pure masculinity, and I got my hair in the style of Brad Pitt. WHY DID SHE SAY NO TO ME! SHE WANTS IT!”
            I’m sending my minion out to that bullshit?! I’m giving her a taser, 10 years of MMA and wrestling training, brass knuckles, a razor blade, and mace when she goes to grade school. The firearms training will be happening before high school. And learning how to kill a man in one blow will be her graduation present before college.

Assertiveness = Bitch

            Any woman that is even remotely successful can attest to this. If a man is willing to step on toes to get what he wants he is considered an inspiration to others because he worked his way to the top and was willing to do what it took to get the job done. If a woman does the exact same thing, THE EXACT SAME WAY, they are looked at as being a total bitch because they had to hurt people to become successful and were willing to speak their mind and get shit done.
            I’m sorry? When the hell did this double standard happen? When a woman demands the same respect as her male counterparts she’s a bitch? Or even worse, she’s on that “time of the month.” Really? So if a man is willing to fire people to help the company save money he’s doing what is necessary, but the woman who does it is a heartless bitch who has no regard for others needs?
            Here’s what I say. My minion will be assertive and know that to accomplish her goals she needs to be willing to speak out and get done what needs to get done. If that makes others think that she’s a bitch, so be it. Those people are the ones who can’t handle a woman willing to take charge and getting things done, and will probably be working at some fast food restaurant flipping burgers very soon. I want her to be strong. I want her to have a voice. I want her to be successful. If society has determined that those women to do that are to be labeled as a “bitch,” so be it. A bitch she shall be.

            Unfortunately, I don’t have enough space to write all that I wanted to about this topic. You are all busy people with lives and other things to do than read some random post. But this gets me scared and angry at the same time. Women are born with the chips stacked against them. They are seen as the weaker sex (bullshit, I’ve seen my wife give birth, deal with male assholes, be hit on at bars and as we are walking down the street and handled all of it in amazing fashion), objects of sexual desire, being emotional, unable to work for a week out of every month, and unable to handle difficult decisions.

            I can only prepare my little minion for the future. For the cat-calls and unwanted comments. For the predators and the nay-sayers. For the real world that she will face. I hope by the time she is ready, there will be figures for her to look up to that show how truly strong women are. With or without those new role models, she will be setting the standard for other young girls to follow. She may never be famous, she may never get national attention. But for those around her, she is going to be the woman that they wish other women could be like. I suggest to those women reading this that they should do the same. Be the one that can make young girls see that you don't need to be a pretty idiot to make money. That you get more respect and admiration through hard work, intelligence, and breaking the mold on societies expectation of what you as a woman can accomplish. And while you're at it, piss off some men. They can't handle it when someone without a penis is successful...Go get 'em!

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