Ndamukong Suh is a giant over paid
butt-hole who plays defensive tackle for the Detroit Lions. This gem of a human
being was just fined $70,000 for
stepping on the left leg of Green Bay Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers. When I
mean stepped on, I don’t mean Suh was pushed and accidentally stepped on
Rodgers leg and reacted as any normal person would (which would be to shift
your weight off the foot you know is crushing another person, and apologize
immediately if it wasn’t intentional). Nope. Suh stepped on Rodgers once,
obviously did not get enough weight on him, and then followed it up with a
second step in which he lifted his other non-stepping-on-downed-person-leg, and
leaned back to put all his weight onto Rodgers ankle, looking to do as much
damage as possible. Suh is a grade-A d-bag.
This isn’t Suh’s first suspension
or fine either. In his short four-year career in the NFL, Suh has racked up
eight fines and two suspensions for on-field behavior, the most by any player
in NFL history. IN NFL HISTORY! Here’s a summary of the wonderful actions taken
by Suh:
- · Week 4 of preseason, 2010 – Attempting to claw the face off of Cleveland Browns quarterback Jake Delhomme but only pulled him to the ground by the facemask, fined $7,500.
- · Week 9, 2010 – Used a NY Jets lineman as a springboard to attempt to block a field goal, fined $5,000. Granted, this could happen to anyone. But it didn’t.
- · Week 13, 2010 – Gave Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler a forearm to the back of the head instead of tackling him, fined $15,000 for unnecessary roughness.
- · Week 2 of preseason, 2011 – Tries to decapitate Cincinnati Bengals quarterback Andy Dalton, but only manages to rip off his helmet, fined $20,000 for roughing the passer.
- · Week 12, 2011 – Pounds the head of Packers lineman Evan Dietrich-Smith into the ground (while he was wearing his helmet, so it was pointless) then stands up and stomps on Dietrich-Smith’s arm. Suspended for two games without pay, losing $165, 294.
- · Week 12, 2012 – Suh is lying on his back and heel kicks quarterback Matt Schaub of the Houston Texans right in the man parts, hard, with cleats, fined $30,000. He kicked another grown man in the balls…
- · Week 1, 2013 – Illegally low blocks Minnesota Vikings center John Sullivan at the knees, earning Suh the largest fine in NFL history at $100,000. This little maneuver could have ended Sullivan’s career.
- · Week 6, 2013 – Lowers his head and battering rams Cleveland Browns quarterback Brandon Weeden in his chest, fined $31,500.
- · Week 12, 2013 – Gives a throat slash celebration at Tampa Bay, fined $7,875. At least Suh didn’t actually cut someone’s throat.
- · Week 17, 2014 – Intentionally steps on Rogers leg, fined $70,000. He almost made it an entire year without being fined…but his perfect record continues!
Added together, the fines
themselves come out to $259,875. The lost money due to the suspensions adds up
to $165,294. Bringing the grand total of money Suh has lost due to his idiotic
actions on the field to $425,169!
*Thanks to Detroit Free Press writer Dave Brikett who had
all this information here.
**And side note, the $70,000 fine for stepping on Aaron
Rodgers is a “reduced” punishment. Suh was supposed to be suspended for the
Lions game against the Cowboys, but the NFL only fined him because he is not
considered a repeat offender since he went 32 games without an incident on the
field. Article from NFL here.
Suh is the same
guy who has been selected to the Pro-Bowl four years in a row. The guy who
literally tries to hurt everyone he plays against, and in some cases attempts
to end their career (Watch the Youtube clip of him taking out
Sullivan) is a four year Pro-Bowl selection! This guy is a dick! Why are we as fans recognizing him as being one
of the best defensive players in the game right now? Because we should not be
recognizing him, we should be punishing him! What you do, is remove him from
the game for, I don’t know, half the season without pay so he can understand
that this type of childish behavior has no place in our professional sports. Apparently,
the only way to make Suh understand that what he is doing is stupid and wrong is
to hit his bank account way harder than the $400,000 already taken from it. HE
KICKED A GUY IN THE BALLS! THE BALLS! AND WAS NOT SUSPENDED!
If I were
to pull this bullshit where I work, I would not be fined; I would not be on
leave for two days and then come back like nothing ever happened. If I were to
punch one of my colleagues in the back of the head, or line up and deliver a
swift front kick to my coworker’s crotch, I would be understandably fired and
arrested for assault! No question! But not Suh? Nope! He gets fined an
insignificant amount (based on his $68 million salary over five years) and told
to not do that again. Just a little slap on the wrist. Heaven forbid if we
actually punish a guy for intentionally causing bodily harm to his coworkers!
Instead he is treated like a child who can’t play well with others and is put
in the corner by his teacher and told, “think about what you have done, and
don’t come out of there until you have learned your lesson! You really hurt
Timmy!” And then he comes out of the corner, tells the teacher he’s learned his
lesson, and then delivers a swift kick to Timmy’s family jewels for no better
reason than just being an a-hole. Well, apparently the lesson has not been
learned, so put the big baby in the corner for longer! Sorry you can’t handle adversity
on the field, or losing, or playing for Detroit, Mr. Suh!
If I were
in his position, with the money he is getting paid to play a game for a living,
with only having to work six months out of the year, and with the crazy
endorsement money rolling in; I would be the nicest guy on the field. There is
literally nothing you could do to me that would make me freak-out and try to
hurt someone during a game. Sure I would be a terror between the snap and
whistle. But after or before that whistle, I’m having a little fun.
If I were playing against the
Packers, and if Aaron Rodgers were to ever end up on the ground after a play, I
would pick him up in a bridal carry and jog him up to his huddle, put him down ever-so-gentley, give him the
customary sports butt-pat, and tell him, “That was a pretty pass!” and just
skip away. I would do that for two reasons: One, I would love to see the
confused look on Rodgers face, and the face of his linemen, when I drop him off
into his huddle like his protector (psychological warfare works wonders). Two,
I would be thinking of the thousands of dollars I am making by playing a game,
on TV, in front of thousands of spectators, playing with other overpaid
athletes, and only having to work for an hour. Actually I would be working way
less than an hour because I would only be on the field for maybe 30 minutes at
most, and even then the average play lasts six seconds in the NFL and most
teams run around 50 plays on offense. So I would only be really working for
five minutes, and making over $100,000. Dude! How can you not be happy when
that is your life? After every single play I would be butt-patting every player
I see and congratulating them at winning at life! We’re all retiring by 33!
WOOP WOOP!
Suh needs
to be taught a major lesson in what it means to have the opportunity to play at
the professional level. Right now he’s acting like a giant man-baby who can’t
control his temper when the slightest thing goes wrong. This is the type of
behavior you would expect from an eight-year-old who just started playing
football and has been told his entire life by his shitty parents that he is the
greatest thing to happen to this planet, but once he starts to actually play he
finds out that every other kid is better than him, so he throws a tantrum on
the field, after every play. Yeah, no one likes that kid. And, right now, no one
should like Ndamukong Suh, because he’s an overpaid butt-hole bully who kicks
people. Grow up…and stop kicking people in the balls…
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